Boundaries and dating

Even if you're doing well, the insights you'll gain from this much-needed book can help you fine-tune or even completely readjust important areas of your dating life.

It isn't that popular Christian conceptions of dating boundaries are too big, but that their scope is too small. It will draw boundaries that reflect the full personhood of each individual by showing concern for every aspect of each individual—personal, emotional, moral, and sexual, to name only a few of those many interrelated aspects. Personal agency maintained by good boundaries furnishes romantic intimacy with meaning and substance.

I remember constantly asking myself, “Does he really like me? ” I also remember reading and rereading every card to decipher any hidden encouragement that he might truly like me as much as I was growing to like him.

In fact, now I can’t believe how obvious it was that he was falling in love with me. What I know now that I didn’t realize then was that I had set some pretty strong emotional boundaries in place.

We weren’t perfect and didn’t have it all figured out, but I can tell you this: Our wedding night was the first time we saw each other naked, the first time we touched each other in…well, you know…and the first time we slept in the same bed. I don’t have all the answers, but I did learn seven things that really helped me and my husband set physical boundaries while dating. He said, “That’s fine; if you don’t want to do this and such, then we won’t”—and he meant it.

Timeliness is as important as integrity in a relationship (Prov. To respect timeliness in what you allow yourself to feel and how you express it does not devalue your emotions through suppression. Yet we often talk about sexual purity as putting our hearts in a cage only to be unlocked in on the wedding day.

Rather, good timing honors the sanctity of romantic emotions and their rightful end (Song of Solomon 8:4). I fear what that view of sexuality would look like in marriage.

A hand on the arm can be a welcome source of intimacy and comfort to one person, or a privacy violation to another.

Communicating what we need is a way of protecting ourselves in relationships and protecting others from the pain of hurting us.

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